#46 Half-watched movies & some more
Spoilers: The Holiday (2006), Elvis (2022), Being John Malkovich (1999)
I have been thinking about what to write the past week and came up with small bits and pieces, but nothing was coherent enough. My algos sent me down these rabbit-holes this week - what happened at the Oscars, why does everyone these days have an Instagram face or who the fuck is Matty Healy and why is he kissing people onstage. But my real worries were mostly about my 18-eggs carton running out too quickly, how I am not exercising enough and if I have wasted the last four years of my life or not. I realise that I use internet pop culture to ignore my own shortcomings.
But despite these realisations, in classic ex-blogger fashion, I will not address anything that’s actually important. Instead I want to tell you that I half-watched The Holiday (2006) with Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Jack Black. It’s actually a Christmas movie but I was in a mood for something light-hearted “about women going through a midlife crisis”. (If you’re feeling stressed, might I suggest that you listen to Youtube’s Christmas carol mix and get into a holiday mood. Have yourself a merry little Christmas, ho ho ho). Anyway, in case you don’t remember, the movie is about two English speaking women, from LA and the UK, who swap their homes because they want to get away from their toxic exes. Cameron Diaz finds the love of her life, played by Jude Law, on her second night in the English countryside. And Kate Winslet finds a 90 year old celebrated Hollywood writer to hang out with and makes him her part-time health project. Winslet falls in love with Jack Black whose saccharine niceness is annoying (note to self). Their choice of travel destination is based on which country speaks English. Their biggest culture shock is driving on the wrong side of the road. They don’t have Google Maps, but they never seem to get lost in a new land. They have an endless supply of wardrobe for a two week trip. Ah, such bliss. But it’s supposed to be a silly movie, so I guess it’s exempt from criticism.
On the same note of half-watched movies, ELVIS! I watched 50 minutes of this 2h40 minute movie that felt like watching 50,000 TikTok clips. I absolutely don’t understand how anyone could have enjoyed this movie. They’ve lost me if I need to read a longform article to understand what’s so good about a movie or a series. This film tries to break away from the typical biopic style format that usually starts with the childhood of a celebrity, then youth followed by life after fame. Here, instead, various incidents of Elvis’s life are interspersed in no specific order. Tom Hanks is in a fat suit and has a bad Dutch accent. Austin Butler is brooding and sitting in a tech-neck posture and women are screaming their tops off. And if that wasn’t enough, at one point, Elvis and B.B.King walk in slo-mo to a Doja Cat song. I would say watch the original Elvis Presley clips on YouTube and feel a million more feelings than this fever dream of a movie.
What I thoroughly enjoyed and was able to finish this week was Being John Malkowich (1999). THIS MOVIE IS INSANE! It’s more coherent than any Netflix movie. It’s philosophical, it’s modern, it has great performances, it has the late 90s aesthetic that I can’t get enough of. The brunette in the movie is indeed Cameron Diaz. I feel that because she was a blonde, she got typecasted into doing bad rom-coms throughout her career. She is absolutely unidentifiable and amazing in this one. If you have seen it, tell me if there are other films similar to this one?
MALKOVICH MALKOVICH MALKOVICH MALKOVICH MALKOVICH. IF YOU KNOW YOU KNOW.
More later!
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